For instance, on the bus, if you stand up near the front where the driver's at, people sitting in the back will pass up their fare to the front and will pass along what stop they want to be let off at. This is pretty confusing if you don't know what they're saying. I generally end up just mumbling the best repetition I can and passing the fare forward, with no idea what they mean and hoping I didn't just cuss someone out accidentally. Luckily for me, I lost my voice last week and couldn't speak louder than a whisper until about Wednesday of this week, which means that I could cop out of passing on their messages by coughing "I'm sorry- my voice...". But now that I'm getting better, my excuse is gone.
There are moments when I feel like I've gotten the hand of things here, but in the very next moment, I'm reminded of how little I know and how often I need help.
Like today- I had been feeling poorly for a while and my coughing was keeping me up at night, so I decided to go to the doctor. I know enough Russian to understand most of what is said to me, but I can't answer back, so my ministry supervisor who I'm staying with went to the doctor's with me and translated for me.
I felt like a little kid again, needing help for everything. It's not a good feeling, but it's where I have to start and it requires me to keep my pride in check.
Or the other day- I went to the grocery store to look at some fruit for my lesson at the school and I ended up buying a few things I remembered I needed. I went to the check out and an elderly lady in front of me started talking to me about how the butter they sell here was from Belarus and how the place down the street was not as good, and the salespeople there were more lazy. I just nodded my head and smiled, hoping that she wouldn't ask me anything I couldn't answer. Thankfully, she didn't. Then it was my turn at the cash register, and the girl working there rang up my items and mumbled the total to me. I looked around for a screen to show the amount I needed to pay, but it wasn't there. I asked her to repeat herself, and she did, but I still couldn't understand if it cost 12 griven or 20-something. I decided to play it safe and handed her a 50.
One thing you should know about Ukraine, though, is that salespeople are not as friendly and helpful as in the US. You need to convince them to help you (even though them helping you will give them a profit...) and they are very particular about the way they are paid. They want exact change and will often refuse to help you if you don't have the correct amount. So she got angry at me and started yelling, and then I quickly gave her a 20, hoping it was enough, and she was satisfied. I walked out humiliated, hoping that the people behind me didn't live in the same building as me. I walked the rest of the way home and soon found myself laughing at the ridiculousness of what had just happened... better to laugh than to cry, I guess.
So yeah- being here is great and I'm loving how much Russian I remember and am able to use (and the opportunity I have to learn more with a tutor twice a week), and especially being able to see what it's like to teach ESL, instead of just learning about it in class. At the same time, it's also very challenging- I don't know where I'd be without my hosts- they are so great at pushing me to use my Russian, but also helping me out when I need it. They encourage me about my lessons, even when one hasn't gone so well, and pray with me often.
But seriously- if you want to know if you're even a little bit prideful, go to a foreign country and stay there for a bunch of weeks- you'll figure it out pretty quickly that you probably do. Even though a lesson in humility is not fun, it's important and necessary if I desire to be used by God while I'm here. I'm praying that you, too, will have a lesson in humility, without even leaving home.
It's worth it in the end.