So true. I leave tomorrow at 9 PM out of Newark, NJ, but between now and then is some nighttime... only one more sleep! Literally too many things to remember and stupid little last-minute worries for me to get ANY sleep tonight. After all these weeks and months of planning, I'm actually going. This is really happening.
As ecstatic and seriously ready to go as I always am before I get on a plane, I'm a little jumpy. Maybe it's watching too many movies about planes going down, or maybe it's the current craziness going on in the middle east added to the fact that I'm flying into Istanbul... regardless, it's moments like this when I start to ask myself: 'Are you sure you can do this?' 'Are you sure this is worth it?' 'What if... this happens? Or that? What about these 9 million things? Huh?'.
I am so thankful and blessed to know the answers to the first two, and certainty about all the rest.
1.) No, I can't do this on my own. But God can, and He will enable me to do what He's called me to. See: the whole Old Testament. Case closed.
2.) Yes, it is worth it. All the cultural mishaps, confusing words, and utter frustration will be worth it if by my being in Odessa one person comes one step closer to knowing their Creator as they were made to. The life I live, I live for Him- not just a nice thing to put on a bumper sticker, but something to live by.
Everything Else.) I have no idea. But I don't have to- I only need to know just a teeny tiny bit of the God who's called me to do this. That's it. That's faith- not blind stupidity, but trusting the one who called you to something to work out the details in his own crazy awesome way. Trusting in who He is, trusting that He's got this and will work everything out.
When I focus more on my Lord and less on myself, all these loose ends and almost-forgotten details and worries don't even matter. In sleepless, nervous little moments like these, I'm choosing to fix my eyes on Him