Hey- so I guess I've been a bit distant lately? I haven't written a new blog post in a while (that last one was a post from a few months ago I'd forgotten to finish) and haven't been really clear in updating anyone other than my family and a few close friends who happen to be around when I'm free on Skype. So here's an update for those of you who'd like one.
I've been cultureshocking (yes, it's a verb... I'm an English teacher- don't question it!) since the end of December and it's been an interesting journey. Before my year overseas, I thought culture shock was a few weeks where everything was horrible and you hated the people you live among, the language, the culture, the food.... everything. I thought it was a general time of hating the world. For me at least, culture shock was more like a roller coaster. When you first settle into your new environment, it's pretty exciting. You're finding your footing in this new place, finding a good grocery store that has good prices, figuring out where the bus stops are and memorizing their names so you can tell the driver precisely where you want off, maybe even choosing your favorite kind of breakfast cereal. The newness gets kind of old after a while, though, and that's when you realize that you've made it to the top of the first big hill and the only way now is straight down. It's at the edge of that cliff that you sit for a month or two. You see the dark abyss of culture shock ahead- you're not there yet, but you're inching toward it. The only question is when you'll begin gathering speed and take a nose dive straight down to the heart of it.
Suddenly, you're speeding downward, and next thing you know, you're laying at the bottom in a heap. You get angry for no reason- I was completely furious for about a day and a half for no reason. I literally don't have a reason why. Most days you just want to sleep... all day long. For almost the entire Christmas break from school I'd wake up at 11 AM, take a 4 hour nap, and go to bed at 10 PM. Every day. And I was STILL exhausted. Other days you just listen to your playlist of emo music on your ipod and try and shut the world out. That only works for about a week though, which makes you angry, and then all that getting angry makes you really tired.... I was pretty much the most unreasonable person in the world (I was convinced, at least) for most of the last month and a half.
After you've been chilling there at the bottom for a good long time, things start to get better. You start finding that the funny things outweigh the horrible things. You see that your mistakes are actually really great stories instead of world-ending traumatic moments. Not understanding Russian is ok- because you have good days in the midst of those bad days. Everything becomes clear and you have a different perspective. The world does not suck half as much as you thought it did. You see how God is in things and is working right where you're at. Hope is a pretty cool thing.
And somewhere in this shifting of perspectives and attitudes, you notice you're not where you thought you were. You've successfully hurtled down the roller coaster at breakneck speeds, crash-landed at the bottom in a heap, dusted yourself off, and started back up again. It's in the coming up that you come to terms with where you're at (and where you're not), what you're doing (and what you're not), the fact that you will never fully understand the people/culture/language you're in, and that God's in this entire process, even the painful parts.
The place you end up: Coming to Terms. You certainly don't love everything, but you don't hate it either. You see the value of things you don't fully understand, and you don't resent them. "The Ukrainians" you live with start becoming your family instead of just people in your stories you can never really understand. Ukraine becomes your home instead of just your fascination. You start really living here instead of just surviving.
So in the last two-ish months, I've been riding a roller coaster of culture shock and am finally coming to terms with all that goes along with living and working here. And it's awesome. :)
I've been cultureshocking (yes, it's a verb... I'm an English teacher- don't question it!) since the end of December and it's been an interesting journey. Before my year overseas, I thought culture shock was a few weeks where everything was horrible and you hated the people you live among, the language, the culture, the food.... everything. I thought it was a general time of hating the world. For me at least, culture shock was more like a roller coaster. When you first settle into your new environment, it's pretty exciting. You're finding your footing in this new place, finding a good grocery store that has good prices, figuring out where the bus stops are and memorizing their names so you can tell the driver precisely where you want off, maybe even choosing your favorite kind of breakfast cereal. The newness gets kind of old after a while, though, and that's when you realize that you've made it to the top of the first big hill and the only way now is straight down. It's at the edge of that cliff that you sit for a month or two. You see the dark abyss of culture shock ahead- you're not there yet, but you're inching toward it. The only question is when you'll begin gathering speed and take a nose dive straight down to the heart of it.
Suddenly, you're speeding downward, and next thing you know, you're laying at the bottom in a heap. You get angry for no reason- I was completely furious for about a day and a half for no reason. I literally don't have a reason why. Most days you just want to sleep... all day long. For almost the entire Christmas break from school I'd wake up at 11 AM, take a 4 hour nap, and go to bed at 10 PM. Every day. And I was STILL exhausted. Other days you just listen to your playlist of emo music on your ipod and try and shut the world out. That only works for about a week though, which makes you angry, and then all that getting angry makes you really tired.... I was pretty much the most unreasonable person in the world (I was convinced, at least) for most of the last month and a half.
After you've been chilling there at the bottom for a good long time, things start to get better. You start finding that the funny things outweigh the horrible things. You see that your mistakes are actually really great stories instead of world-ending traumatic moments. Not understanding Russian is ok- because you have good days in the midst of those bad days. Everything becomes clear and you have a different perspective. The world does not suck half as much as you thought it did. You see how God is in things and is working right where you're at. Hope is a pretty cool thing.
And somewhere in this shifting of perspectives and attitudes, you notice you're not where you thought you were. You've successfully hurtled down the roller coaster at breakneck speeds, crash-landed at the bottom in a heap, dusted yourself off, and started back up again. It's in the coming up that you come to terms with where you're at (and where you're not), what you're doing (and what you're not), the fact that you will never fully understand the people/culture/language you're in, and that God's in this entire process, even the painful parts.
The place you end up: Coming to Terms. You certainly don't love everything, but you don't hate it either. You see the value of things you don't fully understand, and you don't resent them. "The Ukrainians" you live with start becoming your family instead of just people in your stories you can never really understand. Ukraine becomes your home instead of just your fascination. You start really living here instead of just surviving.
So in the last two-ish months, I've been riding a roller coaster of culture shock and am finally coming to terms with all that goes along with living and working here. And it's awesome. :)