Another journal-entry-turned-blog-post from last week about life and culture. Enjoy!
So this past Sunday I went to church. After the service, we have fellowship time (church code for hang-out time, most often involving warm beverages and/or food). I went to grab some chai and ended up in a conversation with a great girl I've been getting to know in English club. She's learning English and will take any opportunity to practice. As the conversation went on, I was painfully conscious of how close she was standing to me.
Most people who know me know that hugs are not my favorite way to show affection or say hello, and that understanding shoulder pats and well-meaning side hugs are a sure-fire way to make me feel uncomfortable. Thankfully, much of my own discomfort at hugs and such have subsided over the years, mostly due to my 3 years at a Bible college in the South, but also due to new friends who love hugs. Nonetheless, personal space is something quite valuable and important to me.
As I mentioned on here before, crossing cultures means laying aside that which is familiar, comfortable, and normal to you in order to enter another culture and relate to the people within it. It involves giving up some of my "rights"; my "right" to independence 24/7, wifi, hot showers every day, familiar foods, and, as I found out the other day, personal space. I've known this fun cultural fact for a while, but experiencing it is always a fun reminder.
So this past Sunday I went to church. After the service, we have fellowship time (church code for hang-out time, most often involving warm beverages and/or food). I went to grab some chai and ended up in a conversation with a great girl I've been getting to know in English club. She's learning English and will take any opportunity to practice. As the conversation went on, I was painfully conscious of how close she was standing to me.
Most people who know me know that hugs are not my favorite way to show affection or say hello, and that understanding shoulder pats and well-meaning side hugs are a sure-fire way to make me feel uncomfortable. Thankfully, much of my own discomfort at hugs and such have subsided over the years, mostly due to my 3 years at a Bible college in the South, but also due to new friends who love hugs. Nonetheless, personal space is something quite valuable and important to me.
As I mentioned on here before, crossing cultures means laying aside that which is familiar, comfortable, and normal to you in order to enter another culture and relate to the people within it. It involves giving up some of my "rights"; my "right" to independence 24/7, wifi, hot showers every day, familiar foods, and, as I found out the other day, personal space. I've known this fun cultural fact for a while, but experiencing it is always a fun reminder.
As the conversation went on, I found myself wanting to take a step back, and at one point I did, causing the girl to take another step closer to me. As I was listening to her, I even thought to myself "She is so close.... why is she so close? I wonder what will happen if I try and take another step back... I can't be this close to someone... this is freaking uncomfortable..." and so on. Instead of ignoring the lack of personal space and just dealing with it, it started to get on my nerves a bit. My comfort was still higher on my priority list than the needs of other people, and in this moment, my selfishness was blatantly obvious.
The longer I've been here, the more I've started to feel the effects of culture shock (in short, stupid little insignificant things wearing on you until they bring an emotional reaction out of you that isn't fitting with the circumstances). As I notice more of the little nuances of the culture here, I feel the rub of my culture, my expectations, and my comfort against my environment, and it hurts sometimes. In the midst of my own cultural adjustment, I need to resist the urge to step back. In those moments when the culture is all up in my grill, I need to stand up straight, man up and face it. Why? Because it's not about me. Missions, even just life in general, isn't about me. It never was and it never will be. It's about bringing glory to JC in all things. It's all about Him.
When I feel the discomfort of cultural differences, I can't step back. Or even, when I feel the discomfort of other peoples' problems and hurt, I can't step back to put some distance between myself and the other person. I need to take a page from Christ and be with the other person in this, whether hard times, pain, or just in the midst of our differences. So yeah, I encourage you to do the same- whether it's cultural differences, problems or pain in others' lives; no matter what, don't step back to give yourself some space and feel better. Stand up straight,